Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven
by blasphamy6669
Summary: ObiWan struggles with a dark secret that threatens to destroy him. Will he find help before it's too late? Takes place after he returns from Milidia Daan and the death of Bruck Chun.
1. Frustration

My first Jedi Apprentice Fic! Please be nice, if you think it sucks don't flame me or anything. This takes place after Obi-Wan comes back from Milidia Daan and the death of Bruck Chun.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Jedi Apprentice characters, they belong to Jude Watson.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 1: Frustration

Qui-Gon Jinn sat on the edge of his sleep couch trying to calm the frustration growing inside him. Winna had just called to inform him that Obi-Wan was brought in to the Healers for the third time this week along with two other students. Fighting, he was always fighting anymore. Qui-Gon didn't understand why she had felt the need to tell him, after all the boy wasn't his apprentice anymore. He may have helped him when Xanatos had attacked, but it didn't change the fact that he had stood against his master on Milidia Daan. With a heavy sigh he stood up and stretched his tired muscles before getting dressed and heading down to the Healers.

"Good mornings, Qui-Gon." Winna greeted him with a smile as he strode through the door. "I'm sorry to have woken you so early, please forgive me."

"It's fine." He smiled at her gently as he stepped in front of her. "What is the problem?"

"He's fine, a few cuts and bruises, nothing serious." She frowned at the look Qui-Gon gave her but continued on. "The other two boys are fine as well, in fact not a scratch on them."

"Why did you summon me if there isn't a problem?" He felt the frustration rising in him once again and forced it back down. Frustration seemed to be a pattern lately when it came to his former apprentice, every time he turned around the boy was in some kind of trouble and they always called on him about it. Obi-Wan was not his problem anymore, why didn't people understand that. "I am no longer responsible for him."

"I know that Qui-Gon, but I thought maybe he would listen to you. I've told him several times to stop fighting but he won't listen." She folded her arms over her chest as she too felt the frustration. "He also looks like he hasn't been sleeping or eating, he's lost a considerable amount of weight, and I'm worried about him."

"Very well. I'll speak to him, but this is the last time." He stepped past her and into the room where Obi-Wan sat a deep gash gracing his brow, both eyes blackened his tunic stained with dried blood. He looked up at Qui-Gon sighing heavily as he stood beside him arms folded across his broad chest. 'Great another lecture.' Obi-Wan thought as he readied himself for whatever his former master was going to say.

"I hear you've been fighting a lot lately." It was a rhetorical question but the boy still painfully nodded his head in acquiescence of the fact. "Why?"

Would it matter if he told him what was going on? Probably not. He knew the only reason Qui-Gon was there was because Winna had asked him to try to talk some since into him. So he decided to tell him what he wanted to hear so he could go back to his quarters and be alone for a while. "I get tired of being called Oafy-Wan and for some reason they've started calling me Homo-Wan."

"Name calling is no reason to fight with other students. You must learn to control your anger your anger will control you." How many times has he given him his speech? It never works. The boy is as stubborn and pig headed as Xanatos ever was. "If you want the Council to look favorably on you when your probation is up I suggest you calm down and try to control yourself."

"Yes, sir." He was hoping that was the end of it. He just wanted to be left alone, Why did they call Qui-Gon anyway, it's not like he's his master.

"Remember my words, Obi-Wan." He gave the ginger haired boy a stern look to show how serious he was. "When was the last time you slept or ate anything?"

Does it matter? "I slept last night and I ate at meal time today." Neither of which were true but if he told him the truth he'd ask to many questions, questions Obi-Wan wasn't ready to answer.

"Winna said that you've had a drastic weight loss since you've been back." He hadn't paid enough attention to the boy to noticed any physical changes.

"I just came out of a war, Qui-Gon, it's kind of hard to eat three square meals a day when you are under attack. And I've been training a lot since I've been back." The answer seemed to satisfy the older man, he gave him a curt nod.

"Try to stay out of trouble." Even though that's physically impossible, he thought to himself as he left the room. Relief filled Obi-Wan as he watched the doors slid shut leaving him alone in the room.

* * *

Hot water cascaded down Obi-Wan's small frame. He was painfully thin, his ribs exposed and his stomach slightly sunk in. He hadn't told Qui-Gon the truth, about anything, they weren't calling him names and he couldn't remember the last time he ate or slept. He wouldn't let him. Every time Obi-Wan closed his eyes there he was, he couldn't hold down any food for seeing his broken lifeless body.

As for the fighting, technically he wasn't fighting he was getting beat up. He didn't try to defend himself from the blows and kicks from the other students, he felt that he deserved it. It was a mistake to leave the order and this was his punishment, the other padawans felt that he was a disgrace to the temple and the Jedi way of life, so they took out there anger and frustration on him.

Obi-Wan welcomed the pain of the beatings because for a short time he left him alone, while fists and feet hit him over and over again, but afterwards there he was watching him silently from the corner. His green eye masked under blood that endless spilled forth from him, his green eye always open always watching. No matter where Obi-Wan went he was always there.

Even now in the shower he stood watching, no matter which way Obi-Wan turned he was there. He scrubbed himself until his skin was raw and burning, but he could still feel the blood all over him, shower after shower, day after day the blood remained on his skin yet it was only he who could see it. "Please, leave me alone. I'm sorry. Please just let me be." He pleaded with the young man but he did not move nor respond he just stared unblinkingly with his green eye.

Tbc

A/N: "He" will be explained in a later chapter. This is my first JA fic so please review.


	2. Messenger

Thank you everybody who reviewed on the last chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Jedi Apprentice, it belongs to Jude Watson.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 2: Messenger

Another sleepless night. Obi-Wan was past the point of exhaustion, he lay on his back staring at the hand crafted model ships fly around in circles. He stood beneath them. Today the council would meet and discuss whether or not Obi-Wan was to be held accountable for Bruck's death. He stared at the bloody young man in the corner of his room, they used to be friends but that was before the blood and the ever staring green eye.

Harvey was his name. They met on Milidia Daan he was close to Obi-Wan's age the two had clicked instantly when they met. Harvey's jovial personality was a welcome change from the despair that was constant amongst the other children. Always with a smile that spread over his face to his bright green eyes, yes he had once had two eyes. Now only one remained, dim and weak. So alive, and now here he stood bloody, silent, and dead.

Obi-Wan refused to think about that moment in which Harvey's last breath had been breathed in his ear. He refused to think of his death all together. If he was so dead, how could he be standing there in the corner?

He hated being around people, even Bant his best friend. He felt like he was losing his mind and he didn't want anybody to see it go. Most days he either spent locked in his quarters or in the training rooms. At first he did everything he could to ignore Harvey thinking that maybe he'd go away, but it has been well over a month and he was still here. Still watching every move Obi-Wan made like a sentinel always present never changing.

The room suddenly felt cold, the air itself seemed to thicken making it hard for his lungs to take in the oxygen they needed. Obi-Wan swung his legs over the side of the sleep couch clutching his chest as he looked over at Harvey. He needed some fresh air, a walk, perhaps a walk would do him some good. The Council didn't meet until later in the morning so he figured he'd have plenty of time to take a stroll around Coruscant. The planet is one big city teaming with life from all races, Obi-Wan hoped that maybe being around all that life would help him regain his own, but did he deserve to have it back.

* * *

Breathing deeply as he stepped into the early morning sunlight Obi-Wan Kenobi closed his eyes to take in all the sounds of his new surroundings, the hum of cloud cars and transport ships and the chatter of passers-by as they continued past the young boy. His cerulean eyes snapped open as Harvey bloody form presented himself in his mind. Taking one more deep breath he started to walk amidst his fellow pedestrians.

He had no particular destination in mind so he simply went in the direction in which his feet carried him. Past stores and dinners and shops of all sorts, then down a few levels where he had never been before. He didn't know why he had went down there but he felt drawn to, like someone calling to him.

His pace slowed as he walked past a dark alley, he felt a sudden trimmer in the Force, like a chill running up his spin. Glancing over at Harvey who stood near the opening of the alley he reached for his lightsaber, but his hand landed on his side no lightsaber was there. Had he forgotten it?

Distracted by his missing weapon he didn't feel the foreboding presence coming up behind him. He tried to struggle as a hand clasped over his mouth but the grip was far too strong for him to break. He thrashed and kicked and fought to get free as he was dragged into the alley but to no avail. His head hit the hard concrete with a painful thud as he was thrown to the ground. Immediately getting back up he charged at his attacker only to be thrown back down, he was far too weak from lack of sleep and not eating to do any real damage.

In the dim light he could see the dark cloaked figure standing above him. He could feel the waves if the dark side emanating from him, Obi-Wan could feel the fear rising within him, he knew that in his condition he couldn't defend himself against this man, forcing the fear down he gritted his teeth and stared up at the looming figure. "Who are you? What do you want?"

A sinister laugh came from beneath the cloak. "One question at a time young Jedi." He spat the last word as if it left a foul taste in his mouth.

That voice, Obi-Wan knew that voice. But how? Hadn't they defeated him? "Xanatos?"

"You are a bright one, aren't you?" Again came the laugh as he pulled Obi-Wan roughly to his feet. "I want you to deliver a message for me."

"I'm no delivery boy, find someone else." Obi-Wan spat back at him as he pulled against the grip.

"No, you'll do just fine." He slammed Obi-Wan hard against the building to his right. Pain shot through him as he felt his skull crack against the concrete. He slid down, dizziness overwhelming him as Xanatos's boot contacted with his rib cage. "I want you to tell Qui-Gon that he has a choice to make." Obi-Wan tried to block the fist that was coming towards his face, his vision was blurred still from the dizziness he couldn't tell which one of them was the real one until it came crashing down breaking his nose.

"Either he surrenders himself to me or I take away something that he holds dear." Again came the fists and the boots striking Obi-Wan over and over again. "He will pay for what he has done to me or you will pay his debt with your life. And don't think it will be quick. Oh, no. You will suffer."

Consciousness began to slip away from the boy as the beating finally stopped. He laid one his back blood pooling around him, Harvey stood silently watching just over Xanatos's shoulder as he knelt down and put his face close to Obi-Wan's. "You see, the choice is simple his old apprentice or his new one." As quickly as he appeared he was gone again leaving the two broken bloody boys alone as the darkness swallowed Obi-Wan into sweet release of unconsciousness.

Tbc


	3. True or False

Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I love reviews they make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the Jedi Apprentice characters they belong to Jude Watson, the plot however is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 3: True or False

Obi-Wan's hearing had been set for this afternoon, though the proceedings never began since the boy had never shown up. Disappointed Master Yoda had decided to reschedule it until they could find the missing padawan could be found. Master Mace Windu was calmly strolling through out the mass of students hoping to find the ginger haired boy amongst his peers just as he was about to give up he spotted the tall figure of Qui-Gon Jinn enjoying the scenery in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

"Qui-Gon." The Master nodded at his friend as he approached. "Have you seen Obi-Wan any where around?"

The knight inwardly sighed at the question. He had nothing to do with the boy, why was everybody coming to him about Obi-Wan. "No, Mace. The last time I saw him was when he was with the Healers yesterday."

"He missed his hearing this morning and we have been unable to find him."

"His hearing?" He thought for a moment before it dawned on him. "About Bruck Chun. How did the Council decide?" He didn't think that his former apprentice had intentionally killed the other boy. Obi-Wan may be do a lot of questionable things but killing someone, he just couldn't picture it.

"We didn't, though his absence does tend to sway one to believe in his quilt." A heavy sigh emanated from the Master. "You know his friends better then I, would you mind asking around if anyone has seen him." Qui-Gon knew that was more of an order then a request so he reluctantly agreed and set out to look for the boy.

If anybody knew where to find Obi-Wan it would be Bant. Qui-Gon knew that they were almost attached at the hip so he set of to find the Calamarian girl. He found her in her room along with Reeft and Garen Mulen studying, this was fortunate for him now he didn't have to spend time tracking all of Obi-Wan's friends down. These three were the only ones that had stuck with him after his decision to leave and one of them would most likely know his whereabouts.

"Have any of you seen Obi-Wan today?" Qui-Gon asked the trio in a calming voice. The Calamarian and the Dresselian both shook there heads but Garen spoke up.

"I thought I saw him leaving the Temple earlier." Concern shrouded his face slightly as he looked up at the knight. "He hasn't been talking to anybody lately."

"And I haven't seen him at evening meal in a long time." Reefts grey wrinkly skin made him look awfully sad.

"He showers at least five times a day." Bant's big silver eyes widened even more as she recalled the tired worn look of her friend over the past months "I don't think he's sleeping either. I think some thing's wrong with him but whenever we try to talk to him he makes up some kind of excuse and leaves."

"I'm sure he's fine." Qui-Gon tried to reassure the three concerned faces staring at him. He was going to have to have a talk with the boy when he finds him. Why was it that he was the only one that hadn't noticed the change in Obi-Wan? Maybe something is wrong with the boy.

* * *

A search of all Obi-Wan's usual hang outs turned up nothing. Weary, Qui-Gon returned home to the temple, eventually the boy would turn up and he would get to the bottom of this once and for all. He felt guilty for not paying enough attention to notice that there was something wrong, after about an hour of searching he finally admitted that he still cared for his ginger haired, blue eyed, highly disobedient former apprentice.

He went into the kitchen and made himself a cup of hot tea to help relax him. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was about to happen. He tried to push it away figuring that he was just worried, it was nothing. Just as the thought finished he heard a soft knock on his door. Sitting his cup on the coffee table he rose to his feet and answered the door.

As the door slid open Obi-Wan rushed into his arms burying his face into Qui-Gon's chest. "Obi-Wan, where have you…" He felt something warm and moist beneath his finger tips as he took a hold of his thin arms, looking down he saw blood dripping from a deep gash in the back of Obi-Wan's head. "Fighting? You've been fighting again?"

Qui-Gon pulled him into the kitchen and sat him down. "Did you not hear a word I said yesterday? And you missed your hearing, everybody is worried about you and you lied to me about eating and sleeping. What is wrong with you lately?"

"I wasn't fighting." His voice was weak and full of pain. He had lost a lot of blood, when he finally came to in the alley with Harvey watching him he had remembered being beat up by Xanatos and that he was to deliver an ultimatum to Qui-Gon.

"You're bleeding from everywhere, there's a hole in the back of your head, and your nose looks like it's broken. Stop lying to me and tell me what's going on." His voice wasn't of its usual calm demeanor instead it came out annoyed and accusing.

"I wasn't fighting." He repeated. Qui-Gon stepped in front of him crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then what were you doing?"

"I went for a walk…." He was unable to finish his explanation as Qui-Gon angrily interrupted him.

"You don't end up looking like you went three rounds with a Wookie from taking a walk." He could feel the heat of anger rising within him, he used all his will to force it back down.

"Fine!" Obi-Wan stood up and looked at Qui-Gon. "I was fighting! That's what you want to hear. You don't care what the truth is you just want to believe that it was my fault. You don't care." Obi-Wan could feel tears beginning to form in his eyes as he pressed on. "I know I screwed up on Milidia Daan, and for that I'm sorry but when have I ever lied to you?" He limped passed Qui-Gon and disappeared out the door.

With both hands on his hips, Qui-Gon sighed and sat down, something was deffinatly wrong. He decided to give the boy a night to cool off and talk to him first thing in the morning.

Tbc.


	4. Walk On

Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter.

**Disclaimer:** Jedi Apprentice is property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 4: Walk On

Obi-Wan could feel the tears streaming down his face mixing with the blood as the door hissed closed behind him. He had tried to tell Qui-Gon what happened but he didn't even try to listen he just assumed that Obi-Wan was in the wrong. The Temple was his home, he grew up in here and he loved it, but now there was nothing but pain and sorrow around every corner. He couldn't stand being here anymore; he wanted to be anywhere but here. So the dejected boy once again found himself wondering the crowded streets Coruscant.

The cold night air stung his unattended wounds as he limped down street after street, people stopped and stared and a few offered to help but still he walked on into the night until he came once again to the alley where he had met Xanatos. He stopped and let his eyes wonder over the blood on the pavement, his blood, and then brought his eyes to rest on Harvey. Compared to the wounds on him Obi-Wan's looked like mere scratches.

* * *

"_What happened!" Obi-Wan called to Cerasi as she helped a boy to the ground. He screamed in pain as he grabbed his leg._

"_He and Keegan were outside. The Elder's decided to use them for target practice. Keegan got shot in the arm and Deo fell over some rubble taking cover and broke his leg. Can you set it?" She was kneeling by Deo trying to comfort him as best she could._

_Obi-Wan knelled by the boys legs surveying the damage. He'd never set a broken leg before but he had an idea how, "Is it bad?" Deo asked flinching as Obi-Wan touched it._

"_No, there was this one time back at the Temple when a couple of my friends and I were messing around on some hover boards and I got to going a little to fast and wasn't paying attention to where I was going and BAM!" The boy screamed as Obi-Wan snapped the broken bone back into place. "Right into the wall. Now that was bad."_

"_Cerasi! Obi-Wan!" A girl screamed as two boys behind her brought in a stretcher. "It's Harvey, he's hurt bad!"_

* * *

"Did you deliver my message?" Obi-Wan jumped as Xanatos's voice startled him out of his memories. He was thankful for the interruption, he didn't want to thank about what he saw on that stretcher. No, he hadn't got the chance to deliver the message, Qui-Gon hadn't given him a chance to say anything. He turned to face Xanatos the movement making every muscle in his body ache and throb with pain. He felt dizzy all over again, a sudden twist in his stomach made him double over in pain, throwing up blood and stomach acid on the ground. "Poor little Jedi, you're pathetic."

He was tired, tired of talking when no one would listen, tired of the aching hunger in his stomach, tired of the half sleeping half waking state he has been in. He wanted it to stop, all of it, everything. "Yeah, I delivered your message." He said through gritted teeth. "He said to tell you that he's not playing any of your mind games. He's not surrendering to you." He felt a heavy boot hit the back of his head, the last thing he saw before once again falling into unconsciousness was a solitary green eye staring at him.

* * *

All too soon the rays from the morning sun penetrated Qui-Gon's quarters waking him as they danced over his eyelids. Sighing heavily he pushed the covers back and swung his legs over the edge of his sleep couch. He'd go talk to the boy after his morning meditations. Stretching as he stood he made his way to the living area to settle in for his meditations.

Taking a deep breath he calmed his mind and let the Force flow around him. Its soft energy washing away all of the tension from the previous nights encounter with Obi-Wan. A sudden gut wrenching pain caused Qui-Gon's eyes to snap open. He felt a foreboding in the air, something was wrong with Obi-Wan. Quickly he got dressed and headed to the boy's quarters.

He knocked but no answer came. Opening the door he could see no evidence that his sleep couch had been slept on. Obi-Wan had been wounded so he quickly headed for the Healers to see if perhaps the boy was there. As he walked in he spotted Winna with one of the younglings.

"Winna, is Obi-Wan here?" Qui-Gon asked as the youngling stared up at him.

"Funny, you didn't want anything to do with him the other day and now you are looking for him." The little girl squirmed as Winna gave her an injection. "No, he's not here."

"Did he come here last night?" He felt he already knew the answer but still dreaded what Winna was going to say.

"No. I haven't seen him since he was here with the two other students the day before yesterday." She looked up at the knight with concern in her eyes. "Is there something wrong?"

"He missed his hearing yesterday. Mace sent me to look for him, I talked to his friends they saw him leave the temple and they also shared your concerns about him not eating or sleeping." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I finally gave up close to night fall, I figured he'd come back and I'd talk to him then. I heard a knock at my door and when I opened it Obi-Wan hugged me, he was bleeding profusely so I tried to clean him up and I accused him of fighting again and lying to me. He tried to tell me something but I didn't listen then he got mad and left. I thought he would come here."

Winna looked wide eyed at Qui-Gon. "If he was trying to tell you something, why didn't you listen to him? He comes to you for help and you turn him away. Qui-Gon I expected more from you." She looked at him like a disappointed mother and shook her head.

"I think he may be in trouble. I have to find him." With that he vanished out the door off to locate the runaway padawan. He feared the worst. He knew from everything he'd been hearing lately that there was something other then the physical wounds he had suffered last night wrong with him. He begged the Force to help him find the boy before it was too late.

Tbc.


	5. Sins of the Father

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter.

**Disclaimer:** The Jedi Apprentice series and its characters belong to Jude Watson, the only thing I own is the plot.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven **

Chapter 5: Sins of the Father

Qui-Gon had spoken to all of Obi-Wan's friends, the last time anyone had seen him was before he went missing from his hearing. An extensive search of all the near by hospitals and hotels had turned up nothing as well. He had even gone so far as to show the boy's picture at the transport stations, no one had seen him. It was like he had vanished into thin air, and with his wounds he couldn't have made it very far. Qui-Gon was unsure as to what his next move should be so he returned home to gather his thoughts.

Three days now, the boy had been missing. Qui-Gon didn't think he was on the planet anymore, but if he wasn't on Coruscant where could he have gone. Perhaps meditating would help clear his mind, he thought, and maybe there connection was still strong enough to feel him. As he knelt down on the terrace he heard a knock at the door. He got back to his feet and went to answer the door.

A young man stood before him in a orange uniform, the patch read Coruscant Delivery Service. "Qui-Gon Jinn?" He asked.

"Yes." Qui-Gon was slightly confused by his presence, usually all deliveries were made to the temple instead of the individual.

"I have a delivery for you, sir." He handed Qui-Gon a small brown envelop and with a nod disappeared down the hall.

Qui-Gon waited until the retreating form of the delivery boy was gone then closed the door. He walked into the kitchen and opened the envelop. Inside was a holovid, he sat it down on the table as it came to life, he felt his stomach turn as Xanatos's figure appeared before him.

"Hello, old friend." There was a devilishly charming smile residing on his face and his voice held an air of calm and malice in the same breath. "I see you did not take my request seriously. I assure you I was most sincere. To prove it, I have something of yours, something you want and the only way you'll get it back is by coming to me." He stepped off to the right, the holovid following to show the unconscious form of Ob-Wan Kenobi lying in a puddle of blood on the floor. "If you've changed your mind and decided that you don't want him to die for your sins, come to where your first sin against me was committed. Here began the circle, and here it will end."

Qui-Gon stood staring as the holovid powered down. So, Xanatos had taken the boy, but what was this message he was talking about? He hadn't received any messages from Xanatos save this one. 'Where my first sin was committed.' Qui-Gon didn't need to think about it, he knew where to go. 'Telos.'

* * *

Obi-Wan slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't make out his surroundings, his eyes were blurred, he tried to reach his hand up to rub it away but his wrists were being held down by heavy restraints, he tried to move his legs but they too were strapped down. Blinking, he tried to clear his eyes, slowly the room began to come into focus. He was in what appeared to be a dungeon. Obi-Wan was suspended in the center of the room in nothing but his breeches. There were tables set up with whips, chains, shock sticks, and many other implements of torture.

Obi-Wan swallowed dryly as his eyes surveyed the scene, finally they fell upon Harvey who was standing near the sensory deprivation tank. They locked in a staring contest of sorts until Obi-Wan finally broke away as he heard boots scraping down the hall heading in his direction. The door slide open and Xanatos stepped inside, his smile slightly off setting the broken circle scar on his cheek.

"You're awake. Good. I was starting to think you were never going to wake up, it's been several days." With his hands clasped behind his back he paced in circles around the Obi-Wan. "Now, since my beloved former master decided not to play my game, you shall play in his place. To make this better for me, I want you to scream. Not just for anyone, but for him. I want you to scream, cry, and beg for him to save you. Mark my words, he won't listen. He won't come for you, he'll let you die." He hissed a haunting laugh into the boy's ear.

"I won't scream for anyone!" Obi-Wan said though gritted teeth. "Especially for him. You want to kill me? Do it. But I won't beg."

Once more came the haunting laugh from his captor. "Trust me, by the time I'm done with you your death will be a welcome release. And I promise before this is all over, you will beg. I will break you."

Obi-Wan was unable to speak another word as a whip came crashing down on his exposed back. It took all his might not to scream out in pain. He reached out to the Force to help calm him only to feel it slip away with the next lash. "Foolish child, the Force cannot help you."

Closing his eyes as tight as he could, he searched around in his mind until Harvey's green eye came into view. "Help me." He said to it with in his mind. "Please, remember our promise. I tried to help you, I'm sorry I failed."

* * *

"_Do you remember your family at all?" Harvey asked as he and Obi-Wan sat staring at the sunset. "I heard the Jedi take the children from there homes to train them."_

"_They do. I don't remember my parents much anyway, they were killed in an attack from a neighboring village when I was a baby. I was sent to an orphanage, that's where the Jedi found me. I guess you could say the Jedi are my family." Obi-Wan sighed heavily as he brought his knees up to his chest hugging them tightly. "Were my family."_

"_Don't worry about it. Tell you what, I don't have any family either my parents died several years ago, we could be family. Whenever one of us is in trouble the other will come running. When we can't stand on our own we'll hold each other up. Promise?" His emerald green eyes smiled at Obi-Wan as he extended his hand._

"_Promise!" Obi-Wan smiled and clasped his new 'brother's' hand. _

Tbc


	6. Pain

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! This chapter contains graphic violence at parts, just thought I'd warn those who don't particularly care for a lot of torture.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Jedi Apprentice characters, they belong to Jude Watson.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 6: Pain

The feel of the cold concrete against Obi-Wan's cheek offered little comfort to his tired aching body. The beating had gone on for hours, but he did not scream at times he wished that the next blow would end his life but it never did. The only comfort was the memories that Harvey showed him, he was able to lose himself in them and escape from some of the pain but not enough to keep him from losing consciousness.

He didn't know how long he had been out, he had awoke a short time ago in a darkened cell. This one was small and bare, he lay in the middle of the room with his legs tucked into his chest he could feel the fever of infection spreading through his tortured back. His lips were chapped and raw, they hurt as he spoke. "Harvey?" He called out softly, his eyes hadn't adjusted to the dim lighting to allow him to see the boy so he closed his eyes. As his heavy lids shut the familiar form of the lifeless Harvey appeared within his mind. "Thank you."

The thudding sound of boots walking down the corridor came near and stopped in front of his door. Cold air sent a shiver up his spine stinging his wounds as Xanatos stepped inside. "Are you ready for another round?" Obi-Wan remained silent his cerulean eyes boring holes into the fallen Jedi's face until a swift kick to the chest caused him to wince in pain. He felt himself being pulled up by his hair, once his hair held perfect ginger spikes, now it stuck to his head in heavy blood stained clumps.

"It's not polite to ignore someone when you are asked a question." He taunted the boy as he drug him down the hall. "Didn't your master teach you that? Well, I shall remedy that." As they approached the doors they slid open to reveal the torture chamber once more. Obi-Wan swallowed hard as he struggled against the fierce grasp that was at his arm but to no avail, he was met with a hard slap to the face with a shock stick and hoisted back into place and put in the restraints once more.

"For one so weak, you have a lot of strength burning within you. I can see it in your eyes." Xanatos smiled as he brought his face close to Obi-Wan's, several strands of his black hair falling over his eyes, dark blue burning into cerulean. "I will take great pleasure in being the on to dim those eyes. It was foolish of…"

"Stop monologuing and get to it." Obi-Wan mimicked the look on Xanatos's face as he leaned closer to him. "Or did your master not teach you it's impolite to monologue?"

A coy smile spread across his capture lips, the broken circle rising on his check. "Very well." As he drew his face away from the boy he jabbed a shock stick into his ribs, blood started to ooze out of Obi-Wan's mouth as he bit his tongue to stifle a scream that threatened to break his vow of silence. He would not give Xanatos the pleasure, he would die in silence.

Twice more came the shock stick and twice more Obi-Wan bit back a scream. He was thankful for the slight reprieve as Xanatos went to retrieve another torture device. Pulling back a curtain Xanatos revealed a metal table with an iron bar through the center, small studs lining it all the way around and at the top was a spindle. He glanced back at the boy with a smile on his face.

"I was saving this for Qui-Gon, but I think I might give you a little taste." He returned to the boy and released the energy beam that was holding him in place above the floor, grabbing him by the shackles he drug him over to the table. Obi-Wan resisted to the best of his ability but he still found himself laid out on the table with his arms above his head and his ankles were now strapped down as well. He pulled against his bindings as Xanatos circled back around to the head of the table.

"This device has broken many men, let us see how you fair against it." Slowly he began to turn the wheel, the restraints at Obi-Wan's wrists and ankles pulled in opposite directions stretching him. He could feel the skin growing tauter with each turn of the wheel, his bones screaming out in pain. He closed his eyes as the shock waves of pain shot through out his entire body, it was all he could do to keep from screaming out. The iron bar that rested under the center of his back dug deep into him, the studs pressing in more and more as the wheel continued to turn.

Once again he reached for the Force and once again he found nothing but Harvey. He felt himself start to slip away into the world of memories but was quickly brought back out of it as both his shoulder dislocated. This time he was unable to hold back the scream of pain, he could feel the hot salty tears spill forth from his eyes. Over his sobs he heard Xanatos laugh as the wheel stopped turning, he walked around to the side of Obi-Wan and leant his ear down close to the boy's face.

"What is this? I thought you said you weren't going to scream?" He laughed again as he wheeled a cart over beside the table, its contents shrouded by a white cloth. "This is going to hurt, but I promise that you will break the rest of your vow. You will be begging for him before I'm through with this." Tossing aside the cloth he revealed a surgical lay out of blades along with bandages and stitching equipment.

"After that last round in the sensory deprivation tank you were out for two days, let's see how long it takes you to recover from this." Obi-Wan screamed as the blade cut deep inside of his abdomen, slicing a long slit. More tears came gushing out of his eyes as blood came oozing out of him.

He couldn't feel exactly what was happening to him, all he felt was pain beyond his wildest imagination. It didn't take long before he broke down and began to beg as Xanatos said he would. He reached out to his former master with all the strength he had left. "Qui-Gon, please help me! I'm sorry, please help me!" He was chocking on his tears as he realized how pointless it was to call for him. "Harvey, I need you. Please make it stop! Make it go away." He repeated the words Harvey had spoke to him that day, but the pain was too much and he soon fell unconscious as his kidney was pulled out of his body and tossed into the fire.

oOoOoOoOo

Qui-Gon awoke screaming in pain and clutching his side. He felt Obi-Wan call for him in his sleep and then the most awful pain he had ever felt in his life, like someone was cutting something out of him. He made it to the fresher just in time to throw up the contents of his dinner. He sat on the cold floor and called upon the Force to ease the pain and clear his mind. After about twenty minutes he was able to calm himself enough to stand up, but found himself doubled over once more as a searing pain found its way to his right shoulder blade. He could feel his flesh melting beneath some unknown heat, once again he called upon the Force and pushed the burning away.

His hands were shaking as he stood up, the whole of his body screaming in pain. He splashed cold water onto his face and stared at his tired reflection in the mirror. What was happening? Was Xanatos torturing the boy? Would he even be alive when he got there? In his dream he had heard Obi-Wan's voice calling for him, then he felt anguish even worse then the pain as he felt Obi-Wan give up on him and call for Harvey. Who was this Harvey? Obi-Wan didn't have any friends by that name that he knew of.

Remorse over took Qui-Gon. If he had only taken the time to listen to the boy he would be safe at the temple right now and not in the hands of his former apprentice who would do anything to cause him pain. The holovid made mention of a message, had Obi-Wan been there that night to deliver it? All this pain the boy suffered through now was because of him and he knew it. He bit back a tear as he stared into his own eyes. "Hold on Obi-Wan, I'm coming." There was only a day left on the journey to Telos, he hoped that it wouldn't be a day to late.

Tbc.


	7. No Forgiveness

Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter.

**Disclaimer:** All the Jedi Apprentice characters belong to Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 7: No Forgiveness

Sleep failed to find Qui-Gon after the dream he had had along with the excruciating pain that had been transferred through it so instead Qui-Gon sat in the lounge of the transport ship that was carrying him to Telos with an untouched blue drink sitting in front of him. His fingers unconsciously running up and down the glass as he lost himself in his thoughts.

He was ashamed of himself for the way he had handled Obi-Wan lately. Yes, Obi-Wan had stood against him on Milida Daan but did he really deserve the treatment that Qui-Gon had been giving him since his return? It wasn't as if the boy had fallen to the dark side after all, he simply stayed behind to help The Young, to help a band of children get back there home and family, what was so wrong with that. Perhaps Qui-Gon was wrong to leave the children to fend for themselves, and worse still he was wrong to leave his padawan behind.

Xanatos, everything boiled down to Xanatos. Xanatos had betrayed him and fallen to the dark side of the Force leaving doubt and uncertainty in Qui-Gon's heart and for this reason he was reluctant to take on another apprentice but there was something about Obi-Wan that made a bound almost instantly between them as if the Force itself had hand selected the boy for his tutelage. He vowed the day that he decided to take Obi-Wan as his padawan learner that he would not fail him in the way that he failed Xanatos, and he didn't, he failed Obi-Wan much worse and now the boy was paying for his mistakes.

They were no longer master and apprentice yet the bond still remained and it was a very strong connection. The pain he had felt through the dream was unimaginable but what hurt him the most was not the tearing at his gut or the burning at his shoulder but instead was the feeling of being totally and utterly alone, abandoned by hope and all those who once cared. Also he felt this overwhelming since of quilt, he shook it off thinking it was because of his failure to protect the boy, still something felt off. He felt as if there was someone staring at him but when he looked around he saw no one save for the bartender who was busy putting away glasses.

Qui-Gon rubbed his temples as he closed his eyes, he was fatigued and exhausted from all the worrying and was in desperate need of rest. He let the Force work its way through his mind calming his strained conscience, he started to relax as its delicate fingers soothed his weary senses. The relaxed feeling didn't last long, beneath his closed eyelids a face of a young boy appeared blood dripping from a deep wound in his head and his right eye was missing only one eye green eye stared at him, no not at him, through him.

His eyes snapped open, his breath catching in his throat as he tried to shake the image out of his mind. The roam took on a chill that seemed to pierce right through to your very core much like the stare of the green eyed boy that Qui-Gon had saw within his mind. _"Hurry before it's too late."_ There was no one else present in the lounge to whisper those words. _"Promise, one of us is in trouble the other will come, promise."_

The chill vanished as the echoed whispered voice faded away. Qui-Gon was too stunned to move. What had just happened? It was not Obi-Wan's voice he had heard and it wasn't his face that he had saw, no matter who it was he knew that it was speaking of Obi-Wan and his time was running out.

* * *

Obi-Wan lay on his side, he found that it was the only spot on his body that would allow for pressure to be put on it. He could barely move his arms, Xanatos hadn't even bothered to put them back into there sockets and Obi-Wan couldn't find the strength to do it himself. The pain was still present but he didn't care anymore, he let the pain take him over as he lay blankly staring off into the darkened cell that had become his home.

This was his fate and he would accept it, he felt like he deserved it. How can he ask for forgiveness for what he had done on Milida Daan, this was his just punishment. In a way the pain almost felt soothing, the fact that he was suffering and that he lay in a broken heap in a dank dark cell seemed a fitting place for him. Yet no amount of physical pain could alleviate his tortured mind, yes, Harvey had kept his part of the promise which only served to further Obi-Wan's quilt for failing to keep his.

He felt he deserved death, but death would be a sweet reprieve. No, life was his sentence for his sin and for Harvey he would serve it to the bitter end no matter how long it took. He wouldn't give up, he would welcome the pain of living even if he wanted death so very, very much.

He wondered how long he would be here in this place before Xanatos finally killed him. He knew that Qui-Gon wouldn't come for him. Why would he? Obi-Wan had betrayed him just as Xanatos did, and he hated himself for it. Qui-Gon was the closest thing to a father that Obi-Wan had and he loved him dearly yet he still stood against him and the look in his eyes as they stood face to face, he'd never forget the way they dimmed and sank within themselves. Betrayed once again and this time must have hurt the most, for when Obi-Wan had saw him next they were still shallow and had continued to be ever since.

He had never meant to cause him pain, all he wanted was to help the children get there families back. He failed Qui-Gon, he failed Cerasi, he failed Harvey, he failed and this was karma coming back to punish him for his failure. Obi-Wan looked into the ever present green eye that was peering at him through the darkness. He couldn't hold back the tears as the regret far worse the any pain that Xanatos had inflicted upon him washed over him. Two of his friends had died in his arms and he had stolen the light from his master's eyes. So many sins but no forgiveness, perhaps one day they would forgive him but he will never forgive himself.

* * *

Qui-Gon stood watching through the view screen as his transport descended upon Telos. It had been many years since he had returned here, he was hoping he would never have to step foot on this planet again. Yet here he was, staring intently as the transport sat down on the docking platform. With a heavy sigh he exited the vessel and walked down the familiar streets of Telos.

He had been the one to find Xanatos here. His father was one of the wealthiest and most powerful men on the planet. Crion had reluctantly given up his son for Jedi training and Qui-Gon had willingly accepted him, but had he listened to his gut he would have left him here. Crion had gone mad with power and position and it was by Qui-Gon's hands that he fell. Xanatos had always leaned a little towards the darkness but in the moment that his father breathed his last breath he let the darkness have him completely. He took the ring his father wore and pressed it to his cheek forming the broken circle scar, a souvenir that he will never lose to mark that day. Qui-Gon had taken something from him that he could never get back and now he was doing the same to him.

Qui-Gon stopped in front of an all too familiar mansion, the very one in which he had found Xanatos, the very one in which he had slain Crion in front of his son, this was where his first sin was committed. A dark cloaked figure emerged from the shadows, flowing black cape lined with a blue so dark the night sky would be jealous of its hue. He didn't need to see his face to know it was Xanatos. "Here began the circle and here it will end."

Tbc.


	8. Lost and Found

This chapter picks up where the last one left off. Sorry about the cliffhanger on the last chapter, but it seemed like a good stopping point.

**Disclaimer: **All the Jedi Apprentice characters belong to Jude Watson, only the plot belongs to me.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 8: Lost and Found

"Here began the circle, and here it will end." The wind carried Xanatos' somber voice to Qui-Gon's ears. Stepping forward in slow fluid strides Xanatos came to stand a few meters in front of Qui-Gon. Pulling his cloaked hood back to reveal flowing long black hair and the scar on his cheek Xanatos shocking blue eyes stared into those of his former master.

"Your qualm is with me. Why have you involved Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon's stance appeared calm and relaxed but on the inside he was tense and ready to sprang into action should the need arise. The fight was imminent but one thing about Xanatos is he loves to talk, he loves to intimidate his foes with words.

"I didn't wish to involve the boy, that was your decision when you failed to heed my warning." The smile that played mischievously on his lips was just how Qui-Gon had remembered it, haunting yet strangely captivating. "Did you not think that I was serious? Old friend, I am always serious, dead serious."

"I received no warning from you, the only thing I received from you was a message that you had taken Obi-Wan hostage." Perhaps now he would get to the bottom of this warning he was supposed to be given.

Xanatos' response was preceded by an eerie laugh as the smile widened. "So, the boy did not deliver the message. My, my that one has a lot of spirit, or rather had a lot of spirit. Why do you suppose he would let himself be taken to pay for your crimes?"

Obi-Wan had been there in his room to deliver the message and he had turned him away. Had spirit? Surely Xanatos hasn't killed the boy, Qui-Gon would have felt him go. "What have you done with him?" Qui-Gon struggled to force down his anger as he spoke. He let his hand fall to rest on the hilt of his light saber, his placid eyes now burning with anticipation to end this so that he might find Obi-Wan.

Xanatos folded his arms nonchalantly as he took a step forward. "It doesn't matter because here you are and soon you shall perish by my hand as my father fell to yours. But don't expect to leave this world alone, for when I'm done with you I'll send your boy to join you." Xanatos let his hand fall to his light saber as well but his stance remained neutral. "I must commend you. You did well by him, it took quite a while before I finally broke him. As you die I want you to remember that I made him scream and cry and beg for you and he will die knowing that he was meaningless to you."

In a flash so sudden it nearly caught Qui-Gon off guard, Xanatos sprang forward the burning red blade whizzing past his head as Qui-Gon rolled out of the way powering up his own weapon. "Still nimble in your old age, I see." Xanatos lunged forward once again, this time Qui-Gon was prepared and parried the attack with ease spinning around to perform an attack of his own. Slashing within mere centimeters of Xanatos' face a lock of black hair was carried away on the wind leaving behind its burning scent.

Qui-Gon's next strike came down to meet Xanatos' blade sputtering as they locked together, he was knocked back as Xanatos kicked him in the side. Quickly he recovered and charged back into the battle successfully landing a heavy blow to Xanatos' shoulder. The younger combatant howled in pain, Qui-Gon could feel the dark ripples emanating from him as his anger grew. Through the Force he saw a slight muscle twitch to the left signaling him to move to the right landing a less effective blow to Xanatos' hand.

Retaking his grip on the hilt of his lightsabor Xanatos spun around slashing across Qui-Gon's chest. He was able to resist the urge to call out in pain as the smell of blood and sizzling flesh drifted to his nostrils, instead he gave himself completely to the dance not letting his anger over take him. He parried another move, then another until he gained control of the duel.

He pushed Xanatos back closer to the mansion, he could feel his former apprentice

weakening under the strength of his blows and the burden of his own injuries. Qui-Gon new better then to underestimate his foe for in an instance the table could be turned. Xanatos was a very skilled fighter, he had excelled in lightsabor training as an apprentice at the Temple, his skill had impressed many and gave many a reason for caution. He was being fueled by anger and the urge to seek vengeance, both were very powerful driving forces.

His cautions were correct, Xanatos somersaulted over Qui-Gon's head slicing with his lightsabor, he barely had time to move, he could feel the heat of the blade brush his face as Xanatos landed behind him. Spinning around to meet the nest attack Qui-Gon swung his own weapon, the blade slicing open Xanatos' side causing him to fall back. As quickly as he hit the ground he was back up again, Qui-Gon driving him back easily fending off his weak blows.

Farther and farther back he forced the young man until he reached the wall. Qui-Gon stood ready to deliver the final blow if need be but to his surprise a smile appeared on Xanatos' face as he powered down his lightsabor. "I always have a back door." The wall behind him disappeared revealing a speeder. "This isn't over." In a quick move Xanatos jumped in and sped away, the image of his former master's green lightsabor disappeared as he gained distance.

Xanatos' escape was the least of Qui-Gon's worries. He powered down his lightsabor and reached out to the Force to feel for Obi-Wan. He felt his energy, but it was weak almost nonexistent. Relief flooded over Qui-Gon, the boy was still alive. The door to the mansion was locked, using his lightsabor he cut through and stepped inside.

The room he walked into was filled with elegant statues and tapestries with a lavish blue rug extending from the door to the next room. Qui-Gon didn't pause to look at these things, instead he let the Force guide him through the myriad of hallways and rooms down into a lower level. Unlike the previous rooms he had been through this part was dark and moist, he could smell the mildew hanging in the stale air.

Stopping in front of one of the rooms he could feel a slight ripple in the Force. The doors slide open as he approached. The sight inside sickened him, a torture chamber full of devices to inflict great pain, he hoped that this wasn't what the boy had been subjected to but he knew that the blood that stained the floor belonged to Obi-Wan. All this pain and suffering, Qui-Gon couldn't understand why Obi-Wan would have allowed Xanatos to have taken him. From the way Xanatos spoke it sounded like Obi-Wan had voluntarily gone with him to this place to be punished for Qui-Gon's mistake.

He left the room continuing his search for the boy, he stopped at a door a few meters down the hall. Reaching out he could feel Obi-Wan's weak life energy coming from the room. Using the panel beside the door he was able to open it without much resistance. The cell was dark but the light from the hallway bleed in allowing him to see inside. Obi-Wan lay in the middle of the cell on his side.

Quickly Qui-Gon stepped in and knelt down beside the still boy. As his hand came to rest on Obi-Wan's arm he recoiled away from Qui-Gon to the corner of the cell, hugging his knees to his chest. He was covered in blood both new and old, the only clean flesh that could be seen was where the tears had washed the blood away from beneath his eyes. "Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon tried to keep his voice as calm and soothing as possible but it still trembled as he spoke. "It's me, it's Qui-Gon. I've come to take you home."

Once again Qui-Gon reached his hand out to the boy who only hugged himself tighter. He let his hand drop and moved closer to him. "He's gone, he's not going to hurt you anymore. Give me your hand let me help you."

"No." Obi-Wan's voice trembled as tears started falling from his eyes. "You're not real. Go away." His cerulean eyes were void of emotion or anything resembling life. Qui-Gon could remember how they blazed with life and curiosity and hope, now they were hollow.

"Obi-Wan, listen to me, I'm here, I'm real and I'm going to take you home. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before, I'll listen to every word just as soon as I get you out of here." Qui-Gon placed a comforting hand on his arm, there was no room for him to back away from it, he thought maybe the physical contact would help him realize that he was here to help him and not a hallucination.

Obi-Wan clamped his eyes shut and put his hands over his ears and started sobbing. "Harvey, please make it go away. I don't want to see him, please stop." He cried through tortured breath.

Harvey, again came the name from his dream. Who was this Harvey and why was Obi-Wan calling for him? Seeing nothing else he could do he scooped Obi-Wan up into his arms, worried at how light he felt. The boy struggled weakly but resigned himself to sobbing and begging Harvey to take him away. Qui-Gon tried to sooth him as best he could as he quickly made his way out of the mansion.

Tbc.


	9. Vigil

I am very sorry about the lateness of this update, my computer got a virus and crashed. Please forgive me for any inconvenience. I promise I'll get these next few chapters up as quickly as I can type. Thank you for your patients and your reviews.

**Disclaimer:** All Jedi Apprentice characters are property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 9: Vigil

The medic on board the transport had been able to path the majority of Obi-Wan's wounds. Though not much could be done about his mental state, in order to treat him he had to be given a sedative. Every time someone would get near he would pull away and start sobbing even more, most of what he said was either incoherent or pleas to Harvey. Now he lay sedated on the sleep couch in Qui-Gon's cabin. There was only a day left till they reached Coruscant, Qui-Gon hoped that the Healers would be able to help once they arrived.

He watched the boy who laid motionless save for the strained rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He was ignoring his own wounds, instead focusing his energy on the ones that scared Obi-Wan's skin, the ones that cut deeper would have to wait until the boy was coherent enough to have a conversation. He knew that Obi-Wan wouldn't speak to the Healers about it and he knew that when he did get him back that he shouldn't wake up alone.

The only clothing that he had put on the boy was a pair of soft white shorts. He feared putting a shirt on him because of the lashes that were on his back. Obi-Wan had many wounds: three broken ribs, two bruised, several shock stick burns on his abdomen and face, a gash in the back of his head, cuts in his wrists and ankles from his restraints, both shoulders had been dislocated, and lacerations on his back from an electrowhip. Not to mention the horrible looking surgical wound where his kidney used to be. But the one that made Qui-Gon cringe the most, the one that would stick in his mind for the rest of his days was the brand on his right shoulder blade, a broken circle. Xanatos had marked him with his insignia so that no matter if the boy survived this ordeal he would always remember the aggressor and Qui-Gon would forever feel the sting of quilt knowing that it was his former apprentice who had done this.

A fever had set in from the infections on his wounds, Qui-Gon was able to combat it and keep it at bay for the majority of the journey but now it was spiking. Qui-Gon stared at the numbers on the thermometer for less then a moment before he dashed into the fresher and filled the bathtub with ice cold water. He knew that in Obi-Wan's state he would be more susceptible to illness from the cold water but he also knew that with a temperature of 106.6 he could sustain brain damage if it rose any higher.

Scooping the boy into his arms he quickly took him into the other room and lowered him into the water. Thankfully the sedative was still working or Obi-Wan would be freezing to death. Once he had him settled he pulled of the shorts from under the water, he knew that once he brought him out of the cold water the wet clothes would only serve to make him sicker. Leaning over the tub he laid Obi-Wan's head in the crook of his arm and stroked his face gently speaking reassuring words that he hoped weren't falling on dead ears, though the words were more being spoke to comfort him.

As the time ticked away so did the fever, satisfied that it was within a favorable range at 103.1 he took the still warm boy out of the water, drying him as best he could before putting a fresh pair of clothing on him and depositing him back on the sleep couch. He applied more salves and ointments to the wounds before tucking the blankets around the boy's shoulders.

He was relieved that the fever had gone down, but was still worried at its presences. The fever wasn't the only thing that worried him about the boy, the wounds, the psychosis, the paleness of his skin, and then there was the small frame. Clearly Obi-Wan was malnourished, he had to be after being tortured but this was worse then that. His pale, almost translucent skin clung so tightly to his bones that you could see every vein, every sinew, every tendon. It had been quite some time indeed since the boy had eaten, judging by the dark circles under his eyes and the tautness of his skin, the loss of consciousness and the sedatives was his only source of rest.

How had he let this go this far? Qui-Gon felt the weight of quilt as he looked down at the boy. He had failed another apprentice, he hoped Obi-Wan would survive. Even if it meant his fall to the darkness to become yet another enemy for him to face down the road, all he wanted was to see life in his eyes again even if they burned with the fire of vengeance within them. There was something that told him that Obi-Wan would not fall into darkness, that he was strong with the light. Impatience and anger were two traits that both of his apprentices shared but what set them apart was Obi-Wan's almost insatiable need to help even at the cost of one's own life, like a true Jedi and Xanatos' need to always be right, always be on top. Yes, he had failed both of them but he knew that his failings with Obi-Wan would not turn him as it did his first.

Two days Qui-Gon had been on this vigil, he couldn't remember how long it had been since he had actually rested before that. However long it had been he was really feeling it now. His eyes drooped with the weight of much needed sleep, it took all the strength he could muster to keep them open. He worried that if he did sleep that he would be unable to help Obi-Wan should the fever spike again, or that Obi-Wan would wake while he slumbered, but he also knew that if he didn't sleep he would be useless to the boy.

With a reluctant sigh he laid down next to Obi-Wan, bringing the boys head to rest on his shoulder as he put his arm around him holding him closely. Within a matter of moments Qui-Gon fell into a restless, dreamless, deep sleep.

Sometime later Qui-Gon was awakened by the sound of an announcement coming over the speakers on the ship. There was a problem with one of the engines and they were making an emergency landing on the nearby planet Gia. Qui-Gon had heard of the planet before, but in his extensive travels had yet to visit it. From what he had heard it was a beautiful, tranquil planet filled with lush gardens with the most fragrant exquisite flowers, putting those of Altarra to shame. He thought perhaps the soothing environment would help Obi-Wan better then the Healers would.

Qui-Gon froze in terror as he realized that he was the sole occupant of the sleep couch. The boy was gone. Calming himself he reached out to the Force, he could feel the boy's presence in the fresher, as his head cleared he could hear the sound of the shower running. With a relieved sigh he swung his legs over the edge of the sleep couch and crossed the room into the fresher. He couldn't help but feel the foreboding as he reached out his hand to open the shower door.

Qui-Gon's breath caught in his throat as he saw Obi-Wan sitting, still in his pajamas, hugging his knees to his chest rocking back and forth as the scalding hot water washed over him. "Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon quickly turned off the water, as the shower stopped he could see the tears falling from Qbi-Wan's eyes as he stared off into nothing rocking himself back and forth.

"I can't get clean." His small, trembling voice uttered as he looked up at, or rather through Qui-Gon. "I can't get clean no matter what I do. It's still there. It won't go away."

Tbc.


	10. A moment for eternity

Sorry about the lateness, I've been trying to post this since early Wednesday morning and my document manager wasn't working.

**Warning:** The is a little (actually a lot) of graphicness in this chapter but I felt that it would better help the reader to understand what Obi-Wan was seeing when he looked at Harvey. How his injuries are described is how Obi-Wan sees him.

**Disclaimer:** All Jedi Apprentice characters are property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven **

Chapter 10: A moment for all eternity

"I can't get clean." His small, trembling voice uttered as he looked up at, or rather through Qui-Gon. "I can't get clean no matter what I do. It's still there. It won't go away." Tears continued to fall as Qui-Gon froze as he stared at Obi-Wan's tortured frame rocking back and forth. Shaking off the chill that tingled from the base of spine through every vertebra, he scooped the boy up into his arms out of the bathtub. Sitting him down on the sink he started pulling the wet clothes off, he knew that if they stayed on it could potentially make the boy's fever worsen.

"Obi-Wan, what won't come off? I don't se anything." He asked as he started drying him off. He needed to keep him talking, perhaps he would be able to get to the bottom of things but at the very least Obi-Wan may realize he is not hallucinating..

"It's my fault. He's dead. It's all my fault, I couldn't help him." Obi-Wan's voice was barely above a whisper as he started it wring his hands, as if something were there. "It won't come off."

"Obi-Wan, what happened to Bruck was not your fault. It was an accident. You did your best to help him." Bruck, was he felling guilty because he was unable to help him. Bruck was the only person Qui-Gon could think of that Obi-Wan could possibly be talking about.

"There was so much blood. How could he have still been alive when they brought him in?" Obi-Wan gave a sad smile as he laughed and looked blankly up at Qui-Gon again. "It was gone, his eye, it was gone."

Qui-Gon remembered the boy from his dream, one green eye. Was this the boy Obi-Wan was talking about? Was this Harvey? " Harvey? Are you talking about Harvey?" The small, sad smile that had played on Obi-Wan's lips vanished at the mention of his name.

"We promised. We promised and I couldn't help him." For the first time Obi-Wan's blood shot tortured cerulean eyes focused on Qui-Gon. "Is that why he won't go away? He's always here, always watching me. But he won't speak. He still helped me, kept his promise even though I failed."

Qui-Gon wrapped a dry towel around Obi-Wan and carried him into the other room and laid him down on the sleep couch, laying himself down beside the trembling boy holding him close to his chest. " Harvey is still here? Where is he?" Qui-Gon asked as he stroked Obi-Wan's wet hair.

He followed Obi-Wan's finger as he pointed to the corner of the room. "Always here. I tried, but I couldn't help him. I couldn't save him. I'm sorry."

Qui-Gon could see nothing, but he knew that quilt could be a powerful emotion and could give hallucinations of the things that one regrets. He had seen this boy in his dreams, broken bloody, one piercing green eye. It had made him sick just seeing him once, how long had Obi-Wan been seeing him? "Tell me what happened to Harvey."

"No." Obi-Wan shook his head lightly. Qui-Gon could feel the warm wetness of more tears on his chest.

"Its okay, maybe if you talk about it, it will help Harvey find his way home." It was the only thing Qui-Gon could think of to say. He knew that Obi-Wan wanted to help his fallen friend and maybe by talking about it he would help himself as well. It would certainly make Qui-Gon feel better to know what was going on inside the boy's head and give him a better fix on how to help him.

* * *

(Flashback)

"What happened!" Obi-Wan called to Cerasi as she helped a boy to the ground. He screamed in pain as he grabbed his leg.

"He and Keegan were outside. The Elder's decided to use them for target practice. Keegan got shot in the arm and Deo fell over some rubble taking cover and broke his leg. Can you set it?" She was kneeling by Deo trying to comfort him as best she could.

Obi-Wan knelled by the boy's legs surveying the damage. He'd never set a broken leg before but he had an idea how, "Is it bad?" Deo asked flinching as Obi-Wan touched it.

"No, there was this one time back at the Temple when a couple of my friends and I were messing around on some hover boards and I got to going a little to fast and wasn't paying attention to where I was going and BAM!" The boy screamed as Obi-Wan snapped the broken bone back into place. "Right into the wall. Now that was bad."

"Cerasi! Obi-Wan!" A girl screamed as two boys behind her brought in a stretcher. "It's Harvey, he's hurt bad!" Bad. Bad didn't even begin to cover what was lying on that stretcher as they laid it down.

Obi-Wan could feel his stomach turn as he looked in horror at the bloody mess that was lying before him. "Obi-Wan?" Harvey's voice painfully asked in a low, almost inaudible tone. He was still alive! How could he have survived!

"What happened?" Obi-Wan was unable to hear his own voice as he uttered the question, his eyes never leaving his young friend. He barely heard the answer as he was informed that Harvey had stepped on a landmine. All of his attention was focused on the bloody mound of what used to be a person. His left leg was missing from the knee down, his right one lay open muscle exposed, three fingers were missing off of his right hand, his left hand was simply gone, there was a gaping wound in his abdomen his intestines threatening to fall out if he is turned in the wrong direction, just above his right eye was a large gash in his head apart of the skull exposed, as Obi-Wan looked closer he could see that the right eye was gone as well leaving the left staring at him.

"Help me, please." Harvey coughed, blood sputtering out of his mouth. With all the blood it was hard to notice his bottom lip was no longer there.

"What do I do? I don… I don't know what to do." Obi-Wan said as he knelt down beside his friend unsure what wound to try to fix first, it hadn't quite sank in yet that none of the injuries could be fixed. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes as he frantically tried to stop the bleeding from Harvey's head.

"Obi-Wan, I need you. Please make it stop. Please make it go away." He pleaded with his one green eye, peering deeply in to Obi-Wan's.

"I'm trying, just hold on. Please hold on."

"No, Obi-Wan, you can't help me that way." He winced in pain, the words almost catching in his throat as he spoke. "It's to much, you can't save me, but you can make it all stop."

"What? How?" Obi-Wan asked, his eyes wide as he breathed heavily.

"End it." He said simply, pleadingly. He didn't want to feel the pain, he wanted it to be over.

"No, no Harvey please! It's not that bad! I can fix it! I promised you I would help if you were ever hurt, I don't break promises." He couldn't, no he wouldn't do this. He could fix it, couldn't he?

"Please, please just make it all stop. It's not your fault. Please, this is the only way you can help me."

"No." He couldn't hold back the tears any more as they fell freely from his eyes. "No, please don't ask this of me. You are my friend, please, stay with me."

"I'll always be with you, Obi-Wan, so long as you remember me." He gave Obi-Wan one last pleading look.

He weakened under his friends resolve, he didn't want him to be in pain any longer. Obi-Wan looked away for a moment before reaching a trembling hand out to retrieve a blaster. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he looked back at Harvey. "I'm sorry I failed you." Harvey was tried to respond but the blood was building up in his throat, all he could reply with was painful gargling coughs. Leaning down, Obi-Wan put his free hand around Harvey resting his cheek on his forehead as he brought the blaster to his head, shuttering as he felt Harvey's last tortured breath being breathed into his ear before he pulled the trigger.

Nothing, no noise, no movements, nothing. Obi-Wan couldn't even muster the energy to cry as he sat holding his friend's lifeless body in his arms. It seemed in that moment that everything else in the universe was gone, all that remained was one lifeless boy and one that could only wish to be.

Tbc


	11. Remember Me

No lateness this time! My document manager is finally working right so I was able to get this one up as soon as I finished it. Thanks for all the reviews on chapter 10.

**Disclaimer:** All Jedi Apprentice characters are property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 11: Remember Me

Qui-Gon could not find the words to say as Obi-Wan clung to him weeping uncontrollably, his body trembling as he curled himself into a ball. Obi-Wan had taken the life of his friend, a mercy killing to ease the suffering of a mortally wounded boy. That boy, Harvey, the one Qui-Gon had seen in his dreams, twisted and mutilated, bloody and broken, was this what was haunting Obi-Wan? Was this what he was seeing everywhere he turned?

He felt his heart twinge as Obi-Wan tried to speak, chocking on his words as tattered uneven breathes was all that came out. "Shh." He soothed as he ran his fingers through Obi-Wan's wet hair. "You've spoken enough for today, try to rest. I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise, I'll be right here, I won't leave you again." He continued his slow steady strokes until the sobbing became light gasps and then nothing at all. They needed to talk about this but it would be impossible at this moment in time, he needed Obi-Wan coherent and he himself needed time to think and meditate on the subject. He knew that what he said to the boy would have to be sure and steady to have an impact.

* * *

_The room in which Obi-Wan found himself standing was completely dark save for the beam of light illuminating his withered form. He took several steps forward, the light following him as he did, still nothing could be seen. "Hello?" Obi-Wan asked. He could feel no other presence around him, he knew he was alone. "Is anyone here?" He couldn't help but dry heave as the most horrific stench flooded into his nostrils making his stomach churn. Death, rotting, decaying flesh. _

"_Promise." The word echoed through Obi-Wan as he managed to gain control over his somersaulting stomach. "Hold each other up."_

"_I'm sorry." Obi-Wan cried into the nothing that ay before him. "I-I didn't want to do it. But what else could I have done?"_

"_Promise." Came the echoing voice once more. Obi-Wan froze as Harvey stepped into the light, no blood, no wounds, two bright green sparkling eyes. "Remember me?" He asked as he ran his fingers over his scalp where the gaping wound once was. "This is how I used to be. Want to see me how I am now? Want to see me how I am because of you?" _

"_No. Harvey please, I'm sorry." Obi-Wan cried as the smooth white skin faded into a mesh of maggot infested flesh and bone. He couldn't hold back the scream as tears came flooding out of his eyes as the putrid stench of death retuned._

"_You did this to me. You promised to always be there if I needed you." Harvey took a step forward towards Obi-Wan, several maggots falling away and disappearing into the darkness as he did. "I needed you and you were no where to be found, brother." _

"_I didn't know, please I would have been there if I had known!" Obi-Wan pleaded as he took a step backwards away from the approaching figure that grew nearer. "I would trade you places if I could. I want to see you smile again, I don't want you to be dead!"_

"_You mean like this?" Harvey asked as the flesh reappeared on his body as if it had never been gone in the first place. "Does this make you feel better?" He asked in a mock friendly tone. _

"_Please, Harvey, I just want things to be right again, I don't…"_

"_You want to make things right again? Too bad, nothing is ever right, nothing will ever be right because you fail at everything you touch. You are like a curse to those around you, soon everyone you know and love will be here with me because you'll fail them too." _

_Again the flesh melted away and the stench returned. Obi-Wan fell to his knees, sobbing into his palms. "I'm sorry…"_

"_I'm sorry? I'm sorry?" Harvey laughed. Obi-Wan felt cold dead hands grab his arm, looking up he saw the one green eye leering at him, a long centipede like bug crawling out of the other eye socket and into the blaster wound in his skull. "Is that all you can say? I'm sorry? Well, I'm sorry too, sorry that I trusted you to be there, sorry that I ever considered you my friend, my brother."_

"_But you asked me to! What was I supposed to do?" Obi-Wan pleaded as he was pulled back up to his feet. "I never wanted it to be this way. I never wanted to hurt you."_

"_I asked for this! I asked for my friend to shoot me in the head!" Harvey leaned in closer, faces almost touching. Obi-Wan could feel no breath coming from Harvey, only the smell and the tingle of the maggots touching his skin. "I asked for your help and you killed me. Remember what I said, I'll always be with you so long as you remember me. I will always be here to remind you of just how much of a failure you are. I will see to it that your death will be far worse then mine."_

_Within a split second of those words being uttered, Harvey was gone leaving Obi-Wan alone once more. He sank to the ground, tucking his knees into his chest as he sobbed, the light above him disappeared leaving him in the darkness with only the sound of his tortured cries to keep him company._

* * *

It had taken a while but Qui-Gon had eventually found sleep. He lay with Obi-Wan's head resting on his chest listening to he jagged uneven breathes until it lulled him into a dreamless sleep. He awoke to the sound of a blood curdling scream, Obi-Wan lay in a fetal position crying as he held his ears, blood dripping down his neck from where he had imbedded his fingernails into his ears.

"Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon took a hold of the boy's arms and pulled his hands away. Obi-Wan shot up, eyes wide, cold sweat dripping from his forehead as he screamed, tears falling in torrents down his cheeks. "Obi-Wan, what is it?"

It was obvious from the look in his eyes that he was not awake, and that whatever he had saw in his dream he was absolutely terrified. "I'm sorry, please. I'm sorry." His weak voice trembled out as Qui-Gon drew him into his chest, instinctually rocking him as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Shh. It's over now, we're going home." He tried to sooth the weeping boy though he knew his words were falling on deaf ears. "I'll make this better, I promise. I won't fail you again, I won't, I promise. Just stay with me." After twenty minutes of rocking and soothing the sobbing finally faded into weak labored breathes. "I'll make this better." Qui-Gon fought away the tear that formed in the corner of his eye. "I have to."

Tbc.


	12. Guilt

Thank you for your reviews, and your continued patience. I know it took a while to post this chapter but I had a mild case of writers block, not to worry I'm all better now..

**Disclaimer:** All Jedi Apprentice characters belong to Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 12: Guilt

Gia is a beautiful planet filled with lush gardens with the most fragrant and colorful flowers this side of the Canthos System. The passengers that were temporarily laid over on this beautiful planet had been given room and bored over looking on of the finest gardens in the capital city of Tria. The Jedi's room a particularly good view, thus Qui-Gon stood hoping the scenery would calm his troubled mind as he watched his young companion toss restlessly in his sleep.

He was thankful that Obi-Wan still slumbered, it was much needed rest that the boy had deprived himself of, but Qui-Gon also feared that he was being tortured in his dreams as well. The boy had remained asleep during the move off the ship and while Gia's healers had fixed the rest of his wounds. Out of the corner of his eye, Qui-Gon noticed a slight change in the boy's movements. In one quick graceful step he moved to the sleep couch and sat one the edge resting his hand on Obi-Wan's chest. Cerulean eyes blinked heavily as they opened meeting his own before moving there gaze to the corner of the room.

"How are you feeling?" Qui-Gon asked as he felt the boy's forehead checking for a fever. It had not returned since it had spiked on the ship, but he was still concerned that it might. Obi-Wan did not respond, instead he rolled onto his side and curled into a fetal position, holding himself as though if he let go he would fall to pieces. "Obi-Wan, I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

"You can't help me because I can't help anyone." The boy stated in monotone as he curled into himself even farther.

"That is not true, you have helped me many times. Even now you have made me realize that I cannot hold onto my past mistakes, if I do then I will only make them again and again. You have taught me many things, Padawan." He ran his fingers gently through Obi-Wan's ginger hair as he spoke.

"I'm not your Padawan anymore."

"You are, if you were not then I wouldn't have been able to find you. Our bond is still strong, the Force brought us together and wants us to stay that way."

"No." Obi-Wan's voice trembled as he spoke.

"Why not?" Qui-Gon was slightly taken aback by this.

"Because I will fail you just as I failed Harvey and you too will stand in the corner and haunt my dreams. You are better off without me."

"No, I'm not. I'm miserable without you." Qui-Gon sighed heavily as he continued to stroke Obi-Wan's hair. "You did not fail Harvey. You did your best to save him, it is unfortunate what happened but it was no fault of yours."

"I shot him."

"He asked you to, he was suffering and you gave him peace."

"Peace? If I gave him peace why is he still here?"

How could he answer that question? The answer he chose to give could either be the boy's salvation or his execution. Why was he still here? If he had asked Obi-Wan to end his suffering, what made him want to stay and torture his friend? Surely he wouldn't, it didn't make any sense for him to still be here unless… "Maybe he is still here because you won't let him go, because you cannot forgive yourself. Maybe he isn't here at all, he's simply a projection of your own guilt."

Obi-Wan sat up and looked Qui-Gon in the eye. "So I should just forgive myself for murdering my friend." There was a slight tinge of anger in his words.

"No, I'm saying you should give yourself and Harvey closure." Anger, at least he was able to get something out of the boy.

"Closure? How am I supposed to do that! Harvey is dead and it is my fault! I killed him! I couldn't keep my promise," He tried to fight against the tears that were forming in his eyes but surrendered to them. "he's dead and it's all because of me."

"Harvey wouldn't want you to…" Qui-Gon's hand was pushed away as he reached to wipe away the tears from Obi-Wan's cheek.

"Don't pretend like you know what he wants! You never meet him, you don't know him at all!" Once again the anger came seething out past the tears.

"No, I don't know him, but I did see him. I know that you promised that if one of you was in trouble the other would come. I heard you speak his name in my dream and then I saw him the way you described him, the wounds, one green eye. I know that he cared about you."

"How am I supposed to forget? How?" Obi-Wan laughed as he glanced at the corner of the room again and the down to his hands as he started to wring them. "He's still there, the blood is still here." The anger faded once again into sorrow as he sobbed into his hands for a moment before letting his bloodshot blue green eyes lock onto Qui-Gon's "I just want to go to sleep." He said trembling. "I just want to go to sleep and not wake up again."

"Obi-Wan, listen to me." Qui-Gon pleaded as he took both of Obi-Wan's hands. "I know it is hard, but you must forgive yourself, you don't have to forget, that's impossible, but you must forgive yourself. You did not kill Harvey, the blood is not on your hands, it was the war that took him." He shouldn't have left him there! Qui-Gon remembered the look of determination in Obi-Wan's eyes as he stood against him to help the Young. More and more he felt his failings as a Master, more and more he felt his failings as a Jedi. "I'm sorry I failed you, son. I never should have left you there alone. It is my fault that you are suffering now."

"You never failed me." Obi-Wan looked confused as he stared into his Master's sorrowful eyes. "I was the one who failed."

"No, Obi-Wan, you we're doing what you thought was right and I turned my back on you. And when you came back I didn't listen to you, I assumed the worst instead of listening to the truth. If I had only listened to you Xanatos wouldn't have taken you and you wouldn't be seeing things." Qui-Gon turned his face away to hide the tear that fell from his eyes.

He closed his eyes as he felt Obi-Wan's hands slip out of his. They fluttered open once more as he felt Obi-Wan's arms wrap around his neck as the boy pressed his light frame into Qui-Gon in a tight hug, his head resting on Qui-Gon's shoulder. "I never meant to hurt you." He said sobbing as he brought his knees around so that he was almost straddling the older Jedi. "I'm sorry."

Qui-Gon retuned the embrace, gently caressing the boy's back. "I never wanted to hurt you either. You mean worlds to me, Obi-Wan, I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you." Qui-Gon did his best to fight away the tears that gathered in his eyes, but was unable to stop there siege, the two Jedi held each other in tight embrace as they wept.

Tbc.


	13. Rest

Alright, here we go, the final chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all of the reviews over the story, I appreciated every one of them. And Thank you for your continued patience on the updating, I know I haven't been as frequent with them as I would like to have been but certain mitigating circumstances would not allow it.

**Disclaimer:** All Jedi Apprentice characters are property of Jude Watson, only the plot is mine.

**Can Sins Ever Be Forgiven**

Chapter 13: Rest

Obi-Wan Kenobi sat on the sleep couch watching his master slumber beside him. Sleep, though, would not find its way to him. Things between the two had been worked out and apologies that were long over due finally were granted words. It was a small comfort to Obi-Wan to know that he could rely on his master once more, but the haunting visage of his dead friend still stood staring with his ever watchful green eye. Was it true what Qui-Gon said? Was the only reason Harvey was still here because of Obi-Wan's quilt?

With a heavy sigh Obi-Wan slid out of the sleep couch careful not to wake his master. He needed some fresh air, maybe that would help ease his mind. As quietly as he could he put on his tunic and breeches and headed out the door to the lush, colorful garden that their room was over looking.

The sweet scent of the flowers drifted into his nostrils leaving a tiny kiss of its beauty as he exhaled. Slowly he walked down the rows, pausing to run his fingers over the silky brightly colored petals of the flowers he past. This truly was a beautiful place. Its places such as this that make you forget that there is still evil in the world, but Obi-Wan could not forget. Out of the corner of his eye he could still see Harvey as he stood next to a large orange flower with petals as big as an Acronan's head.

He did his best to ignore the bloody figure and focus on the beauty surrounding him. Qui-Gon said that Harvey was only here because Obi-Wan would not let him go, he was only here because Obi-Wan could not forgive himself for what he did. But how could he forgive himself for taking the life of a young boy? It's not exactly something you can forget. He could still feel the stale warmth on his cheek as Harvey had breathed his last breath just before he pulled the trigger. No matter how many times he showered, no matter how many times he washed his hands he still felt the warm heavy blood clinging to him. No, he could not forget.

But, if he couldn't forgive himself did that mean Harvey would be stuck here, never to find rest? Even in death he hurt those he cared about. If he forgives himself that means Harvey leaves but Obi-Wan remains with the memories. But if he didn't Harvey would stay and Obi-Wan would lose his mind.

Maybe he should forgive himself. After all, Harvey did ask to be released from the pain and Obi-Wan had done just that. Surely Harvey didn't hold it against him. If he did why did he help on Telos? Harvey is dead, though it may have been Obi-Wan that pulled the trigger it wasn't his fault that Harvey had died. "It wasn't my fault."

"Finally you get it." Obi-Wan spun around to see where the voice had came from. Their standing by the vibrant orange flower stood Harvey, no wounds, no blood, two emerald green eyes beaming at Obi-Wan. "You always were a little slow on the up take." Said Harvey as he ran his fingers over the soft petals.

"Harvey?" Obi-Wan looked at him in amazement as the other boy smiled at him.

"Hang on, let me check." He said as he looked all around him and felt of his face. "Yup, I'm Harvey which means you're… Ubi-One, Ari-Three, ah Obi-Wan! That's it your Obi-Wan, now that we know who we are lets continue."

Obi-Wan smiled at Harvey. The one thing that always stood out the most about him was that he always had a smile on his face and was always doing something to make the other children smile. "I'm sorry, Harvey. I wish…"

"How long have you been sorry now?" Harvey waved off the apology as he took a few steps forward so that he was standing next to Obi-Wan. "Do you know how useless it is to be sorry? Sorry doesn't change anything, it just makes you feel bad. There are a lot of things I'm sorry for, like not telling Cerasi that she looked good with her hair down." He gave Obi-Wan a little wink and a smirk. "Stop kicking yourself over things you don't have any control over. Obi-Wan, what happened to me sucks. I mean it really , really sucks, but it wasn't your fault. I know if you could have saved me, you would have. Besides, you gave me something that I hadn't seen in a long time."

"What was that?" Obi-Wan asked in a solemn tone as he brought his cerulean eyes to meet Harvey's.

"Hope. You gave all of the Young hope, and I'm glad I was able to call you my friend, my brother." He smiled and gave Obi-Wan's arm a gentle squeeze. "I never blamed you for what happened. That Quigy or Gon-Qui or whatever his name is…" Harvey gave a dismissive gesture before continuing. "…he's pretty smart. You should listen to him, though listening to people isn't quite your strong point. It wasn't me in your dreams, or standing over you, that was you. It was me on Telos when you were in pain and it was me who Qui-Gon heard when he was coming for you."

"I killed you, I pulled the trigger and you died, right there in my arms, Harvey." Tears began forming in Obi-Wan's eyes as he relived the moment in his head once again.

"I was dead anyway. What you did was end my pain. I know it was hard for you to do, thank you."

"I let you down, I broke my promise."

"No, you kept your promise." Harvey looked him in the eye so Obi-Wan could see how serious he was. "You were there when I needed you the most, you kept your promise."

"So, you're saying I should just forget it?" Obi-Wan asked as he sniffed back another tear. "How can I do that?"

"I'm not saying you should forget. You should remember, you should always remember. But don't just remember the end, remember everything. Remember the walks we used to take, or that time we made Neild wet himself in his sleep. Remember the good times, Obi-Wan." Harvey took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he put an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulder. "What I'm saying is forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and let me go."

Obi-Wan remained silent for a long moment, his head bowed as he rested it on Harvey's shoulder. "Harvey, I…"

"I swear if you apologize one more time I will tickle you till you pee all over yourself. Don't look at me like that you know I will, I've done it before."

"I'm going to miss you." Obi-Wan said as he smiled at his friend.

"I'm going to miss you too, Obi-Wan." The two boys gave each other a long tight embrace with tears in their eyes. "I've gotta go. It's time to leave the world of the living to the living." Harvey said as he stepped back giving Obi-Wan a wink before he turned and walked back in the direction of the orange flower. Obi-Wan watched as his image slowly faded away.

He felt as if the weight of the galaxy had been lifted from him, no longer did he feel the warmth of the breath on his cheek or the cling of the blood to his skin, no more did he see Harvey's bloody form with his ever staring green eye. Harvey was gone, but not forgotten. He would always remember his friend.

He could feel the fatigue on his body. Feeling as though he could sleep now Obi-Wan made his way back to his quarters and slid back into bed next to his master, his eyelids began to droop. After six blinks he could no longer muster the strength to open them a seventh time as he feel into the most restful sleep he had ever had.

End.


End file.
